Limbo

We're still in limbo here, waiting to see if Greg is really going to deploy or not. We're not likely to know until mid-July. This has made for many a sleepless night for me lately.
Andrew hasn't been keeping me awake. He's still doing great with his night sleep. But I've been tossing and turning -- I can't shut my brain off when I lie down. So many things have been going through my mind. How are we going to get the house ready in time to put it on the market? Will we be able to sell the house? If we can't sell the house and we're stuck with a mortgage what are we going to do -- rent it out? What if something goes wrong, I can't run back to Louisiana to take care of it. How am I going to survive a whole year without my husband? How is he going to survive being away from Andrew that long. Andrew will be almost 2 years old when he gets back. So much is going to happen and Greg is going to miss it all. And, the most worrisome thought -- the one I try to push out of my mind -- what if something horrible happens to my husband over there?
My parents have offered to set Andrew and I up in a mobile home next door to them if Greg leaves. This will be perfect because we'll have a space of our own, no rent to pay and all our loved ones just a few steps away. I'll be able to save a lot of money for our next house. And a part of me is really looking forward to all of that. But Greg won't be there and that makes my stomach ache.
I know time goes by fast, but a year (well, actually more than a year with the training added in) without Greg will no doubt be a long hard year. I wish we just knew one way of the other. We've spent the last nine months or so worrying over this deployment and now that it's only a couple of months away, I just wish a decision would be made and we'd be able to start moving on in one direction or the other.
No, this post isn't really about Andrew. But, this is what has been on my mind lately.